FORTY. Such a full, round, even number. When I was a kid, I always imagined being forty as something else, something completely different. I can't really describe what I thought forty would feel like but it's NOT what I feel right now. I definitely feel inadequate to be telling people I’m forty, like I need to be smarter and more serious to say that. My brain has not fully processed it yet, it seems. And so I think I’ll just say I’m 35 for the next 365 days.
As I celebrate a milestone birthday today (they do say, after all, that life begins at forty, whatever that means), I take stock of the life that the Lord has blessed me with. I am many things to many people — a son, a brother, a nephew, an uncle, a cousin, a friend, a doctor, a colleague, a boss, and a teacher. I’ve been blessed to be useful in so many different ways but at the end of the day, I feel that these many roles that I play have enriched my life more than I realize and that I have the better end of the bargain. I've also realized that each role I now play is an answer to a prayer that I made at different time points in my life. The Lord has faithfully fulfilled them all, and for some unexpected roles, it was more than I bargained for.
Looking back over the past 40 years (I really feel strange saying that) — through the years and years of school and medical training, of making life-changing decisions, of traveling away and coming home, through joy and sadness, laughter and loss — there’s one thing that has been constantly present. Through all those years, I can trace the hand of the Lord faithfully and mercifully guiding me in my journey. I definitely haven’t been the perfect son to my heavenly Father, but I hold on to the promise of what I consider is my life verse: “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6).
Living with the promise of the Lord's guidance and protection, I am excited to think of what is next to come. I don't know what the future holds but if the present is any indication, I just know it will be very challenging but much more fulfilling. This afternoon, the Lord's birthday message to me was all about asking, seeking, and finding (Matthew 7:7-11). I am without question looking forward to doing all three this year. Oh, and travel. There must be traveling in the future.
It's the last few minutes of my birthday and I cannot help but feel grateful for the many people who have made the journey exciting and worthwhile: family and friends, colleagues, trainees, and patients. This birthday has been made even more special by the people in my network who sent hundreds of greetings and well wishes and more cake that my family and I can ever consume before it spoils. Thank you for your generosity and kindness.
Finally, and it pains me to end my birthday musings with this, but I've lost too many friends and patients to COVID-19 and I will be remiss if I don't take every opportunity to say this — keep safe and get vaccinated.
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