Status Update and Reflection

I am a big believer in a personal God.  Unlike the god of Spinoza and Einstein, I believe that God is concerned with the affairs of men.  He knows about and sees to the events of my life.  I pray to Him and He answers in one form or another.  This concept is a core belief in my life and world view.  Having said that, I want to share with you, dear blog readers, what is going on with me at the moment.

I submitted my application to US hospitals for residency training in September 2008.  I originally sent out 43 applications.  As time went by, I added more hospitals to my list and I have sent out a total of 53 applications as of today.  I don’t expect to be sending out any more.  Out of the 53 applications, I received rejection letters from about half that number.  I have also received one invitation for interview.  I’m flying to New York tomorrow, from Chicago, to attend that interview on Wednesday.

This situation I am in, the lack of choices for hospitals, has led me to evaluate my options in light of that core belief I talked about earlier.  I feel that I am faced with three possibilities at this juncture.  

First, there might be more interview invitations to come in the next few weeks.  I find this unlikely, to be frank about it.  Most hospitals receive an average of 3,000-4,000 applications.  At this point in time, most hospitals would have sent out all their invitations already.  This scenario is unlikely but still possible.

Second, God has made my life easy and has limited my options to that ONE hospital He meant for me to work in.  That means my interview will go well on Wednesday and I will either be offered a job (pre-match) or I will match to this hospital come March 2008.  

Third, God wants me to go back to the Philippines for training.  This last possibility is what I am least prepared for.  After spending thousands of dollars on examinations and travel expenses, this option would seem like a waste of resources and time.  On the other hand, I also believe that God is ultimately the Source of all the money I spent so it doesn’t really matter to Him.  This is an important lesson I’ve learned from my chief financiers: my parents.

A wise old friend told me something, well, wise: “God is more concerned about your character than your career.”  God is most concerned about my character above anything else, really.  These past few months have been a testament to that.  He has taught me so many important lessons, not the least of which is patience.  If only for the character-transforming lessons I’ve been taught, this whole experience -- the 3 USMLE tests, the trips to the US, the tense and obsessive checking of emails for news about my applications, the living with other people and adapting to their way of doing things, missing home -- this experience would have been worth it.  If God intends for me to stay in the US for training, that would be great.  But if it turns out that God is indeed sending me back home, well, I’d be very disappointed, to be honest.  But I would also be comforted by the knowledge that however things turn out, THAT is the BEST path that God wants me to take.  In the mean time, I have nothing else to do but to wait on the Lord.